When they first
met, he was a really tall boy and she was just a tomboy running around the
building in her over-all. When they first met, she grinned widely and stretched
out her hands with a confident mention of her name. He nodded and said his name
shyly.
It didn't take
long until they befriended each other and started sharing their food. Changmin
was actually not into sharing when it came to food, and neither was Yoona. But
it just happened so naturally when she stole his carrot stick and he would take
her gummy bears without her permission. Yoona glared at him, and Changmin
raised his left eyebrow, looking pointedly at the carrot stick in her mouth.
"Let's share
food from now on, shall we?"
"Deal."
And that was how
their friendship began.
All trainees and
staffs had known this and had been used to Yoona trailing behind Changmin, or
vice versa. Yoona followed wherever Changmin went, and he simply allowed her to
drag him wherever her feet took her.
But it wasn't
until two years later when he finally debuted. He sat silently beside her who
had her legs wrapped close to her chest. The sun was ready to set and the day
was getting darker.
"I will be
debuted in less than a year, Yoong," he said, his eyes were everywhere but
on hers.
She swallowed
down her cry. "I know."
"I won't be
around as much as I am now."
"I
know."
And he never got to know how her feelings had
grown into something more.
Those were the
last words they shared before he was busy with the preparation for his debut
and her practice had been more intense.
Months passed by quickly
and he was no longer a trainee. There was a gap between them. She never saw him
in the building and it was always too late at night when he dropped by to even
exchange a simple hello to her.
"See you
tomorrow," he wrote on the sticky note, before putting it in her locker.
They would shoot a new music video and he was more than excited when he heard
she was going to be the model.
Few hours later,
he found a lollypop in his bag with a note on it.
"See you
tomorrow...and I miss you."
Years went by and
she debuted as well, gaining a lot of attention with her pretty face and fair
appearance. She thought they could be like what they were, but they would never
be the same. Simple hellos and slight smiles in the hallway were the most they
could afford to keep in touch. She was always busy and he was never around.
But after his
birthday, she managed to drop by his dorm every morning and left a simple
homemade breakfast. The containers were usually followed with little notes of “Good
morning” or “Have a good day”. Jaejoong nudged at him with that teasing grin
but he would just drink his coffee without a word. Yunho had been giving him a
warning glare. Don't lead her on,
Changmin. Yoochun kept telling him how bright her eyes were whenever she
had her eyes on him. However the breakfasts kept coming though he never thanked
her properly or just sent a text of “Thank you” and “How are you”.
"Did you eat
your breakfast today?" she asked when they met in the practice room.
"Yes. Thank
you for the bacon, Yoona."
She smiled but
silently wondered why he didn't call her with the affectionate nickname he used
to call her with.
"You are
always welcome. I'm worried that-"
"Can we talk
later? I need to go now. I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically and she
nodded in understanding.
"Oh."
"See
you!"
Yoona watched him
leaving as she looked at her reflection on the mirror. Are we drifted apart? her heart whispered.
Song Qian was a
Chinese beauty. He couldn't keep his eyes off her when he saw her on the
building. Her eyes were big and she had a smile which could reach her ears. She
caught him staring at the foreign newcomer and they smiled at each other, his
gaze never left her.
Changmin was
bewildered when he saw her with Yoona on the next day. He hid himself behind
the door while the women chatted comfortably along the way.
"Yoona, do
you know Shim Changmin? I mean, are you close to him?"
He was sure he
heard her breath hitched at the mention of his name.
"Not
really," she answered, her voice was somehow curt. "Why?"
"He's really
nice, don't you think?"
He didn't catch
her next words as the pair started walking away.
So I am nice, he
smirked to himself. The next moment, he found himself asking around the company
about the Chinese newcomer.
Changmin was
talking to Qian (or Victoria, she always told him) when he caught Yoona's gaze.
His mind spaced out for a few seconds before Yoona finally shifted her gaze
with a small smile on her face. Changmin had seen that kind of smile and he let
out a deep breath, silently wished she wouldn't cry on her way back home.
"Changmin
are you listening?"
Victoria's light
voice brought him out of his reverie. He shot a charming smile at her, telling
her he was all ears. Just then he saw Kyuhyun in the corner of the room,
lifting his thumb at him with that silly smirk on his face. Changmin chuckled
lightly as his heart felt warmer from the sight in front of him; Victoria told
him her day and she was all smiling. And he loved where this conversation would
lead them.
He dated Victoria
and he never felt better. They would spend the night together when he was back
from Japan, sneaked out from her practice to try a new restaurant he heard a
lot from his friends. He always held her hands whenever they went, and heard
people talking about them ("What a pair they make!" "I really
wish they could marry to each other someday.").
His days were
brighter but something is missing. The breakfast stopped coming and he never
got to see her in his dorm. Yunho noticed this and he talked to Changmin one
day, after 24 hours of filming.
"You know
her feelings, don't you?"
"What?"
Yunho shook his
head. "You have known how she feels about you."
There was a long
pause before Changmin sighed in defeat. "Yes."
"So why did
you lead her on? I always told you not to."
"I didn't,
Hyung. It's just-"
"She used to
be your best friend and you can't hurt her," Yunho cut him rather harshly
and Changmin nodded.
"Then
shouldn't you feel relieved when she stops making you breakfast after you're
with Victoria?"
When Changmin
didn't reply, Yunho chuckled. He patted Changmin's shoulder in a brotherly
manner.
"Just think
about it once more. I saw her with Donghae yesterday, so you have to be quick."
When she got up
from bed this morning and made herself ready for the appointment today, Yoona
didn't think she would witness a pair's break up. She stopped midway when she
heard shouts and cried in the hallway, and gasped when she saw Changmin and Victoria.
They were facing each other; jaw clenched and eyes burned. She was yelling at
him; tears streaming down her face. Changmin was less than pleased as he tried
to calm down his girlfriend.
When Victoria
brushed past her, the tears were still visible on her face. She shot her a
small smile, one which showed her sympathy. He was still rooted where he stood,
and she walked towards him in silence.
"Yoona,"
he breathed out her name. His voice was barely a whisper; a mixture of
confusion and relief.
She didn't ask
him what happened nor told him what to do. She sat down on the chair next to
her and he followed suit, both had their gaze away from each other.
"We broke
up," he informed her.
Yoona simply
nodded. He let out a long sigh and buried his face on his hands, frustration
had got onto him.
"Since when
did we stop talking to each other?"
Yoona shifted her
gaze to meet his eyes and regretted the second she fixed her eyes on his. Wrong move, Yoona. She clenched her fist
to suppress the sudden longing to hug him. I've
moved on, she convinced herself.
"I don't
know," she shrugged, hoping her gesture was convincing enough.
"Things have been crazy these days. I wish I could go back to my training
years. It was a whole lot easier back then."
With that one
smile he used to see on her face, they shared a round of laughter as the sudden
familiar feelings filled the air around them. They reminisced the past when
they could go everywhere without cameras around, or just when things are less
complicated. Yoona smiled, and Changmin did too. She laughed, and he followed
along. Just like the old times.
After that
faithful afternoon with his childhood best friends, he secretly hoped he would
see a plastic container of his breakfast next morning, but nothing came. He
waited for days and Yoona never made him one. Checking on his dorm kitchen
every morning became part of his routine and he didn't quite sure why.
And Changmin wondered what they could have
been if he didn’t walk away in the first place.
