Could Have Been

Pairing: SNSD's Yoona & TVXQ's Changmin

When they first met, he was a really tall boy and she was just a tomboy running around the building in her over-all. When they first met, she grinned widely and stretched out her hands with a confident mention of her name. He nodded and said his name shyly. 

It didn't take long until they befriended each other and started sharing their food. Changmin was actually not into sharing when it came to food, and neither was Yoona. But it just happened so naturally when she stole his carrot stick and he would take her gummy bears without her permission. Yoona glared at him, and Changmin raised his left eyebrow, looking pointedly at the carrot stick in her mouth.

"Let's share food from now on, shall we?"

"Deal."

And that was how their friendship began.

All trainees and staffs had known this and had been used to Yoona trailing behind Changmin, or vice versa. Yoona followed wherever Changmin went, and he simply allowed her to drag him wherever her feet took her.

But it wasn't until two years later when he finally debuted. He sat silently beside her who had her legs wrapped close to her chest. The sun was ready to set and the day was getting darker.

"I will be debuted in less than a year, Yoong," he said, his eyes were everywhere but on hers.

She swallowed down her cry. "I know."

"I won't be around as much as I am now."

"I know."

And he never got to know how her feelings had grown into something more.

Those were the last words they shared before he was busy with the preparation for his debut and her practice had been more intense.

Months passed by quickly and he was no longer a trainee. There was a gap between them. She never saw him in the building and it was always too late at night when he dropped by to even exchange a simple hello to her.

"See you tomorrow," he wrote on the sticky note, before putting it in her locker. They would shoot a new music video and he was more than excited when he heard she was going to be the model.

Few hours later, he found a lollypop in his bag with a note on it.

"See you tomorrow...and I miss you."

Years went by and she debuted as well, gaining a lot of attention with her pretty face and fair appearance. She thought they could be like what they were, but they would never be the same. Simple hellos and slight smiles in the hallway were the most they could afford to keep in touch. She was always busy and he was never around.

But after his birthday, she managed to drop by his dorm every morning and left a simple homemade breakfast. The containers were usually followed with little notes of “Good morning” or “Have a good day”. Jaejoong nudged at him with that teasing grin but he would just drink his coffee without a word. Yunho had been giving him a warning glare. Don't lead her on, Changmin. Yoochun kept telling him how bright her eyes were whenever she had her eyes on him. However the breakfasts kept coming though he never thanked her properly or just sent a text of “Thank you” and “How are you”.

"Did you eat your breakfast today?" she asked when they met in the practice room.

"Yes. Thank you for the bacon, Yoona."

She smiled but silently wondered why he didn't call her with the affectionate nickname he used to call her with.

"You are always welcome. I'm worried that-"

"Can we talk later? I need to go now. I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically and she nodded in understanding.

"Oh."

"See you!"

Yoona watched him leaving as she looked at her reflection on the mirror. Are we drifted apart? her heart whispered.

Song Qian was a Chinese beauty. He couldn't keep his eyes off her when he saw her on the building. Her eyes were big and she had a smile which could reach her ears. She caught him staring at the foreign newcomer and they smiled at each other, his gaze never left her.

Changmin was bewildered when he saw her with Yoona on the next day. He hid himself behind the door while the women chatted comfortably along the way.

"Yoona, do you know Shim Changmin? I mean, are you close to him?"

He was sure he heard her breath hitched at the mention of his name.

"Not really," she answered, her voice was somehow curt. "Why?"

"He's really nice, don't you think?"

He didn't catch her next words as the pair started walking away.

So I am nice, he smirked to himself. The next moment, he found himself asking around the company about the Chinese newcomer.

Changmin was talking to Qian (or Victoria, she always told him) when he caught Yoona's gaze. His mind spaced out for a few seconds before Yoona finally shifted her gaze with a small smile on her face. Changmin had seen that kind of smile and he let out a deep breath, silently wished she wouldn't cry on her way back home.

"Changmin are you listening?"

Victoria's light voice brought him out of his reverie. He shot a charming smile at her, telling her he was all ears. Just then he saw Kyuhyun in the corner of the room, lifting his thumb at him with that silly smirk on his face. Changmin chuckled lightly as his heart felt warmer from the sight in front of him; Victoria told him her day and she was all smiling. And he loved where this conversation would lead them.

He dated Victoria and he never felt better. They would spend the night together when he was back from Japan, sneaked out from her practice to try a new restaurant he heard a lot from his friends. He always held her hands whenever they went, and heard people talking about them ("What a pair they make!" "I really wish they could marry to each other someday.").

His days were brighter but something is missing. The breakfast stopped coming and he never got to see her in his dorm. Yunho noticed this and he talked to Changmin one day, after 24 hours of filming.

"You know her feelings, don't you?"

"What?"

Yunho shook his head. "You have known how she feels about you."

There was a long pause before Changmin sighed in defeat. "Yes."

"So why did you lead her on? I always told you not to."

"I didn't, Hyung. It's just-"

"She used to be your best friend and you can't hurt her," Yunho cut him rather harshly and Changmin nodded.

"Then shouldn't you feel relieved when she stops making you breakfast after you're with Victoria?"

When Changmin didn't reply, Yunho chuckled. He patted Changmin's shoulder in a brotherly manner.

"Just think about it once more. I saw her with Donghae yesterday, so you have to be quick."

When she got up from bed this morning and made herself ready for the appointment today, Yoona didn't think she would witness a pair's break up. She stopped midway when she heard shouts and cried in the hallway, and gasped when she saw Changmin and Victoria. They were facing each other; jaw clenched and eyes burned. She was yelling at him; tears streaming down her face. Changmin was less than pleased as he tried to calm down his girlfriend.

When Victoria brushed past her, the tears were still visible on her face. She shot her a small smile, one which showed her sympathy. He was still rooted where he stood, and she walked towards him in silence.

"Yoona," he breathed out her name. His voice was barely a whisper; a mixture of confusion and relief.

She didn't ask him what happened nor told him what to do. She sat down on the chair next to her and he followed suit, both had their gaze away from each other.

"We broke up," he informed her.

Yoona simply nodded. He let out a long sigh and buried his face on his hands, frustration had got onto him.

"Since when did we stop talking to each other?"

Yoona shifted her gaze to meet his eyes and regretted the second she fixed her eyes on his. Wrong move, Yoona. She clenched her fist to suppress the sudden longing to hug him. I've moved on, she convinced herself.

"I don't know," she shrugged, hoping her gesture was convincing enough. "Things have been crazy these days. I wish I could go back to my training years. It was a whole lot easier back then."

With that one smile he used to see on her face, they shared a round of laughter as the sudden familiar feelings filled the air around them. They reminisced the past when they could go everywhere without cameras around, or just when things are less complicated. Yoona smiled, and Changmin did too. She laughed, and he followed along. Just like the old times.

After that faithful afternoon with his childhood best friends, he secretly hoped he would see a plastic container of his breakfast next morning, but nothing came. He waited for days and Yoona never made him one. Checking on his dorm kitchen every morning became part of his routine and he didn't quite sure why.

And Changmin wondered what they could have been if he didn’t walk away in the first place.

The Lovely Deer - Chapter 2

The Obsessed Fan-boys (Yoona x Super Junior)

SM building had never been this chaotic than ever. With f(x) preparing their very first tour, Super Junior's new single coming out soon, and TVXQ's comeback this month, everyone seemed extremely busy. Running back and forth, squealing here and there. Being the only group who didn't have any activities aside from SHINee and EXO, SNSD decided to visit some practice room and just greeted everyone. 

 

When the other members were cheering for Yunho and Changmin, Yoona found her way to a practice room on the 5th floor. As expected, 5 guys were having some stretching when she peeked inside. Noticing a brunette from the big mirror in front of him, Eunhyuk stood up and waved like a maniac. A huge grin plastered on his face. The other guys turned around and grinned as well.

"So, what is it about you going to We Got Married show?" Leeteuk said as he dragged her in.

She playfully whacked his shoulder. "I am not! As much as I want to join the show, there's no way President Lee gonna let me."

The pout she put on her face was irresistible even for Kangin to pinch her puffy cheek. "It's not just President Lee, Yoong-ah. We won't let you either."

She was about to shout her protest when Donghae cut her. "Yeah. Don't you know it will be very hard for us to see you having a marriage life with some random jerks out there?!"

Yoona rolled her eyes as she took a seat beside Kyuhyun who automatically rested his head on her lap. "It's not that bad, Oppa, Vic Unnie's story is enough for me to jump into conclusion. And geez, they don't just put random person on the show! They must be idol or actor or MC!"

"Donghae Hyung is such a pain in the ass. Don't you think so, Yoong?" Kyuhyun asked with a smirk on his face.

"Shut it, Kyu." Yoona jokingly warned him. Donghae was never a burden for her. Instead, his caring and loving personality never failed to soothe her and make her feel the love from an older brother she never had.

Leeteuk let out a heavy sigh. "I've told you, right? You should just marry me."

Whack.

"I'm not gonna respond to that!"

Silent. Yoona stroke Kyuhyun's hair with her finger while the latter hummed in content. Donghae, Eunhyuk, Kangin, and Leeteuk rolled their eyes.

"You know, Yoong," Kyu said, eyes still closed. "Maybe I will stop calling you weirdo if you marry me."

Yoona grunted in frustration. She pushed the youngest man's head. "Why are guys so determined about me marrying you?!"

But they didn't seem to listen.

"No one is gonna marry Yoona, Kyuhyun!" Eunhyuk shouted.

"But she will marry us, 15 of us," Kangin continued.

"Enough is enough!" Yoona yelled as she violently hit the men with her fist.

Donghar yelped in pain. Yoona wasn't called Him Yoona for nothing. She was just as strong as him when it came to hitting people, though he never hit anyone. Like what Yoona said few years ago, Donghae was too good for his own good.

"Okay, okay, we'll stop!"

"Geez, no wonder we still treat you as our little brother," Kangin shook his head. As the strongest member who just came back from his military service, he still thought that Yoona's punch was deadly painful.

"She's just weird."

Whack.

"But she said I was the closest to her ideal type, anyway." That was Donghae's voice.

Whack whack.

The Comforting Friends (Yoona x SHINee)

"I can't have a good rest over there. Unnies are too loud. Can I sit here?"

Jonghyun was bewildered when a petite figure towering him from beside his seat. He quickly clean up his things and let the woman sit on the chair next to him. It was supposed to be Key's chair, but that diva-liked guy would understand, he was sure.

Murmured a thank you, Yoona sat comfortably; both of her eyes were closed in content. Later did she know that Jonghyun had been staring at her.

"Is there something on my face, Jjong?" she asked softly, her voice rang into his ears.

SHINee's lead vocalist seemed to be taken aback by her words. Scratching the back of his head nervously, he shot her a smile.

"No, no. Your face looks just fine." On this state, fine might be an understatement. The word fine never suited her in any way. She was perfectly beautiful, so beautiful that he lost for words to describe it.

Just then, Minho and Onew join them. Minho's smile reached his ears, seeing his favorite noona.

"Yoona Noona why are you here? You rarely sit with us during our flight!" Minho exclaimed as he took a seat beside her while Onew sat behind with SHINee's manager, discussing their schedule for the rest of the month.

Yoona pouted cutely. "Do you detest me that much, Minho?"

"Of course not!" Minho answered immediately. "It's just that you usually sit with your members or Super Junior hyungs."

Yoona heaved a sigh, earning a worried glance from both Minho and Jonghyun.

"I am terribly exhausted and need to rest right now. But Yesung Oppa threw us some jokes that my unnies and Seohyun laughed so hard. I can't even close my eyes there, so I decided to rest here peacefully. You don't mind, do you? I'm really sorry to disturb you guys."

Typical Yoona, Minho smiled. Other people's problems came first even before hers. It was heartwarming, really, to have a sunbae (okay, Noona. For she would hit him hard if he called her 'sunbae') who cared a lot about him (and the rest of SHINee boys as well). But there were times when Minho wished she didn't care about them at all, and took care of herself instead. Just look at her! She was so skinny that she was almost like a walking bone but she still managed to pack some lunch for the entire artists and staffs on the practice day before. And the way she was concerned that she might be a burden for them despite the drowsiness she had right now, made Minho and Jonghyun tried hard to hold back their arms from pulling her to a bone crushing hug.

But when she was about to close her eyes, Minho tapped her shoulder than tapped his own, motioning her to just leaned her head on his shoulder. The 23 year old woman chuckled and did what she was told. And Jonghyun was generous enough to lend her his brand new iPod, knowing only too well that she had been always fond of ballads for a lullaby whenever she was tired.

"You guys are the best," she murmured under her steady breath, eyes still closed. "I will buy you foods by the time we reach Taiwan. I promise."

Jonghyun's eyes lit up at the mentioning of food. "And that's the only thing I need."

The Worrisome Brothers (Yoona x TVXQ)

For Changmin, it was strange to wake up in the morning and the smell of bacon was the first thing that greeted him. He rubbed his eyes, clumsily walked out of his room. There was no way Yunho would wake up this early, he thought, not when they just finished their schedule at 3 this morning. And as he reached the kitchen, the first thing he saw was a way too familiar small back figure.

"Yoona?" his voice was nearly a whisper, groggy from his three hours sleep.

The girl jumped a little before turning around, eyes glow in excitement.

"Good morning, Oppa!" she greeted wholeheartedly, throwing him her trademark smile.

Changmin replied the smile, feeling the warmth of the woman radiating in the small kitchen. He dragged his feet, taking a glance of what Yoona was cooking. Food was an ultimate need for Shim Changmin, and Yoona's cook always suited his taste.

"I made bacon and eggs for you, while these pancakes are for Yunho Oppa," she said, beaming happily as she did so.

Changmin made a face and the girl threw her head back in laughter. Seeing her mouth wide-opened that he could clearly see her tonsils, Changmin was sure he had never seen anything more beautiful.

Yoona put the last pancake into the plate. "Eat your breakfast, Max, I'm gonna wake Yunho Oppa up."

Changmin raised his eyebrow, staring at her in amusement. The corner of his lips made some curve into a grin.

"Is that the way you call your Sunbae?" he asked, emphasizing the last word as he started to eat his breakfast.

Yoona rolled her eyes. "You are not my Sunbae, at least not off screen," she answered curtly. They both entered the company in the same year, 2001, and they became friends since then. The 11 year old Yoona caught his attention when she showed her weird talent of imitating a comedian for everyone in the room.

The bacon in Changmin's plate was almost finished when Yoona finally dragged Yunho to the kitchen. The woman grinned widely, while the older man seemed annoyed and could barely open his eyes. Changmin smirked in amusement at the view.

Yunho wasn't the type that woke up easily. Such a sleepy-head, he was. It was really fun to watch Korea's sweetheart made a great noise to wake him up (from "Oppa! Wake up and eat your breakfast!" to "You lazy pig just wake up or I will drag your butt out there and cut your ball!") every time she visited their dorm, both in Korea and Japan.

Yoona made sure Yunho ate his breakfast while she finished her own milk.

"Why aren't you eating?" asked Yunho with a rather hoarse voice, his brows knitted.

"I already had my breakfast on my way here," she answered.

Changmin didn't realize that he just held his breath. It still worried him whether she ate proper meal or not. Yoona was a big eater, but her schedule prevented her for having three full meals each day. And the fact that she still managed to at least eat her breakfast was enough for him.

Because for the both of them, Yoona was more than just their little sister they treasured so much.

The Lovely Deer (Yoona Drabble)

First post! I have actually posted this drabble on my personal blog. But I'm gonna delete that one and start posting on this blog instead! Enjoy :)

I Hate Fighting with You (Yoona x Changmin)

"You have stopped thinking for a moment, haven't you?" Her voice cracked.

He clenched his jaw as he looked straight into her big, teary eyes.

"What's there to think of?" he asked sternly. His voice was cold, eyes darkened as the girl let out a sob.

"My feelings! Do you even know how hard it was for me?!"

"Stop exaggerating things. It means nothing for me. It was a mistake."

 

"A kiss always means something."

Silence. Yoona's chest going up and down, suppressing her anger at the very same man for the nth time.

"Damn you, Shim Changmin!!" for making me love you more than you deserve.

Changmin stepped close to the crying girl, took a clearer view of her. Those tears. Something clenched his heart when he saw her tears. He hated it when she cried yet he was always the reason behind those sobs, those shed and unshed tears every time they argued.

It was like a stabbed on his chest. The girl in front of him used to be the strongest girl he's ever known.

"I'm sorry," for thinking that you are not the one.

When she didn't reply, he repeated.

"I'm truly sorry," for being the reason why you cry.

In a speed of light, Changmin grabbed her body close to his, placing his lips on hers. The kiss was emotional; full of rage, unsaid things, regret, and passion. Changmin could feel her tears joining his own.

When he was about to pull away, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "I hate fighting with you."

And that was how he made it up to her that night.

Complete Happiness (Yoona x Donghae)

“Was it painful?”

“…You’ll never understand.”

“My mom did tell me about how painful it was to give birth.”

“Good, then.”

“But our 9 months of waiting are well paid off, right?”

The baby in Donghae’s arms fidgeted, and the fully grown-up man coaxed her, humming beautiful melodies from his lips. Yoona smiled at the view.

“What are you gonna name her?”

“Hana. Lee Hana. Hana means–“

“–flower, I know. It’s a beautiful name, indeed.”

“She got your eyes, you know.”

“And she got you gentle feature.”

“…”

“…”

“Thank you, Yoona,” his voice was gentle, sincere.

“No. I should thank–“

“–but we still have a long way to go. Four more kids and we can finally make an idol group.”

“…I won’t sleep with you this week.”

Last Chance (Yoona x Luhan)

It wouldn’t happen if he listened to Sehun’s warning. It wouldn’t happen if he wasn’t so oblivious. It wouldn’t happen if he looked clearly. It wouldn’t happen if he…loved her, cherished her, and gave her his heart.

“She’ll be snatched away any minute.”

He didn’t know what his best friend meant. Who would snatch her away, for God’s sake! Yoona was too attached to him…or he thought so.

The night when she finally confronted him was the night when he finally realized she was the one.

“I should’ve known better,” she stuttered, packing her things while brushing her tears with her palms.

If only he had the courage to brush it for her…

Kai. He remembered she mentioned that name. He remembered the way her eyes twinkling for one second, before tears filled up her big, doe-liked eyes.

He was rooted to the ground to even step closer, grab her by the wrist, pull her to a tight embrace, and feel her small figure safe in his arms. He was too bewildered when she stood in front of him, giving a one last peck in the cheek. The look in her eyes was something he could hardly forget. Pain…farewell…goodbye.

“Take care,” was the last thing she said.

And when the doors shut, Luhan knew he had lost his chance.

From the Eyes of a Lover (Yoona x Minho)

He was content. Watching her from afar, hearing her laugh ringing like a chiming bell, seeing her smile, adoring her long hair flowing on her back.

He did talk to her. The exchange hellos every time they bumped in the hallway, the late night call from her to wish him a happy birthday, or the encouragement text he sent for her comeback.     

He was worried about her. The way she laughed off those hating comments on the net, the way she smiled understandingly at her members who watched Fashion King over Love Rain. There were nights when Minho found her in the corner of a practice room, at midnight, practicing her vocals or dancing over and over again.

He wished he was as strong as her. From the day when he was given the responsibility to be the face of his group, he knew what situation he got himself into. He had the most packed schedule, received the most love from fans, and got the most anti-fans as well. He wondered how his certain sunbae kept her head up for years. He wondered how she chose to smile when all the blames and the bashes went straight to her.

In the eyes of Choi Minho’s, Im Yoona wasn’t just a senior. She was the one he looked up to, the first one he greeted when they met in some broadcasts, the only one he ever told about the death-thread letter he received.

Im Yoona was his senior, his best friend, his sister, his first love.