Could Have Been

Pairing: SNSD's Yoona & TVXQ's Changmin

When they first met, he was a really tall boy and she was just a tomboy running around the building in her over-all. When they first met, she grinned widely and stretched out her hands with a confident mention of her name. He nodded and said his name shyly. 

It didn't take long until they befriended each other and started sharing their food. Changmin was actually not into sharing when it came to food, and neither was Yoona. But it just happened so naturally when she stole his carrot stick and he would take her gummy bears without her permission. Yoona glared at him, and Changmin raised his left eyebrow, looking pointedly at the carrot stick in her mouth.

"Let's share food from now on, shall we?"

"Deal."

And that was how their friendship began.

All trainees and staffs had known this and had been used to Yoona trailing behind Changmin, or vice versa. Yoona followed wherever Changmin went, and he simply allowed her to drag him wherever her feet took her.

But it wasn't until two years later when he finally debuted. He sat silently beside her who had her legs wrapped close to her chest. The sun was ready to set and the day was getting darker.

"I will be debuted in less than a year, Yoong," he said, his eyes were everywhere but on hers.

She swallowed down her cry. "I know."

"I won't be around as much as I am now."

"I know."

And he never got to know how her feelings had grown into something more.

Those were the last words they shared before he was busy with the preparation for his debut and her practice had been more intense.

Months passed by quickly and he was no longer a trainee. There was a gap between them. She never saw him in the building and it was always too late at night when he dropped by to even exchange a simple hello to her.

"See you tomorrow," he wrote on the sticky note, before putting it in her locker. They would shoot a new music video and he was more than excited when he heard she was going to be the model.

Few hours later, he found a lollypop in his bag with a note on it.

"See you tomorrow...and I miss you."

Years went by and she debuted as well, gaining a lot of attention with her pretty face and fair appearance. She thought they could be like what they were, but they would never be the same. Simple hellos and slight smiles in the hallway were the most they could afford to keep in touch. She was always busy and he was never around.

But after his birthday, she managed to drop by his dorm every morning and left a simple homemade breakfast. The containers were usually followed with little notes of “Good morning” or “Have a good day”. Jaejoong nudged at him with that teasing grin but he would just drink his coffee without a word. Yunho had been giving him a warning glare. Don't lead her on, Changmin. Yoochun kept telling him how bright her eyes were whenever she had her eyes on him. However the breakfasts kept coming though he never thanked her properly or just sent a text of “Thank you” and “How are you”.

"Did you eat your breakfast today?" she asked when they met in the practice room.

"Yes. Thank you for the bacon, Yoona."

She smiled but silently wondered why he didn't call her with the affectionate nickname he used to call her with.

"You are always welcome. I'm worried that-"

"Can we talk later? I need to go now. I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically and she nodded in understanding.

"Oh."

"See you!"

Yoona watched him leaving as she looked at her reflection on the mirror. Are we drifted apart? her heart whispered.

Song Qian was a Chinese beauty. He couldn't keep his eyes off her when he saw her on the building. Her eyes were big and she had a smile which could reach her ears. She caught him staring at the foreign newcomer and they smiled at each other, his gaze never left her.

Changmin was bewildered when he saw her with Yoona on the next day. He hid himself behind the door while the women chatted comfortably along the way.

"Yoona, do you know Shim Changmin? I mean, are you close to him?"

He was sure he heard her breath hitched at the mention of his name.

"Not really," she answered, her voice was somehow curt. "Why?"

"He's really nice, don't you think?"

He didn't catch her next words as the pair started walking away.

So I am nice, he smirked to himself. The next moment, he found himself asking around the company about the Chinese newcomer.

Changmin was talking to Qian (or Victoria, she always told him) when he caught Yoona's gaze. His mind spaced out for a few seconds before Yoona finally shifted her gaze with a small smile on her face. Changmin had seen that kind of smile and he let out a deep breath, silently wished she wouldn't cry on her way back home.

"Changmin are you listening?"

Victoria's light voice brought him out of his reverie. He shot a charming smile at her, telling her he was all ears. Just then he saw Kyuhyun in the corner of the room, lifting his thumb at him with that silly smirk on his face. Changmin chuckled lightly as his heart felt warmer from the sight in front of him; Victoria told him her day and she was all smiling. And he loved where this conversation would lead them.

He dated Victoria and he never felt better. They would spend the night together when he was back from Japan, sneaked out from her practice to try a new restaurant he heard a lot from his friends. He always held her hands whenever they went, and heard people talking about them ("What a pair they make!" "I really wish they could marry to each other someday.").

His days were brighter but something is missing. The breakfast stopped coming and he never got to see her in his dorm. Yunho noticed this and he talked to Changmin one day, after 24 hours of filming.

"You know her feelings, don't you?"

"What?"

Yunho shook his head. "You have known how she feels about you."

There was a long pause before Changmin sighed in defeat. "Yes."

"So why did you lead her on? I always told you not to."

"I didn't, Hyung. It's just-"

"She used to be your best friend and you can't hurt her," Yunho cut him rather harshly and Changmin nodded.

"Then shouldn't you feel relieved when she stops making you breakfast after you're with Victoria?"

When Changmin didn't reply, Yunho chuckled. He patted Changmin's shoulder in a brotherly manner.

"Just think about it once more. I saw her with Donghae yesterday, so you have to be quick."

When she got up from bed this morning and made herself ready for the appointment today, Yoona didn't think she would witness a pair's break up. She stopped midway when she heard shouts and cried in the hallway, and gasped when she saw Changmin and Victoria. They were facing each other; jaw clenched and eyes burned. She was yelling at him; tears streaming down her face. Changmin was less than pleased as he tried to calm down his girlfriend.

When Victoria brushed past her, the tears were still visible on her face. She shot her a small smile, one which showed her sympathy. He was still rooted where he stood, and she walked towards him in silence.

"Yoona," he breathed out her name. His voice was barely a whisper; a mixture of confusion and relief.

She didn't ask him what happened nor told him what to do. She sat down on the chair next to her and he followed suit, both had their gaze away from each other.

"We broke up," he informed her.

Yoona simply nodded. He let out a long sigh and buried his face on his hands, frustration had got onto him.

"Since when did we stop talking to each other?"

Yoona shifted her gaze to meet his eyes and regretted the second she fixed her eyes on his. Wrong move, Yoona. She clenched her fist to suppress the sudden longing to hug him. I've moved on, she convinced herself.

"I don't know," she shrugged, hoping her gesture was convincing enough. "Things have been crazy these days. I wish I could go back to my training years. It was a whole lot easier back then."

With that one smile he used to see on her face, they shared a round of laughter as the sudden familiar feelings filled the air around them. They reminisced the past when they could go everywhere without cameras around, or just when things are less complicated. Yoona smiled, and Changmin did too. She laughed, and he followed along. Just like the old times.

After that faithful afternoon with his childhood best friends, he secretly hoped he would see a plastic container of his breakfast next morning, but nothing came. He waited for days and Yoona never made him one. Checking on his dorm kitchen every morning became part of his routine and he didn't quite sure why.

And Changmin wondered what they could have been if he didn’t walk away in the first place.