Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Never Let Go

Donghae knows Yoona all too well. From what kind of food she likes to the scent of her perfume, he knows it all. It’s not that he’s known her since forever, but when you date someone for three years, you just know the inside and out.
So he is surprised when she’s linked to 2PM’s beast, Ok Taecyeon. As long as he knows, she is never into masculine and rough guys. She always prefers someone gentle and loving (like him, if he may add). But it’s not really his place to interfere anyway. After all, the broke up long ago and she’s free to date anyone she likes.
When he meets her for the first time in months, he greets her casually like he would do to a friend of his. She replies with a smile and both of them sit down for a light conversation. He asks her about the recent scandal and she doesn’t even deny it. She throws him a smile before excusing herself for a practice. For the first time in years of knowing Im Yoona, Donghae doesn’t know what that smile means. Is that a yes? Or is that a no? But when he sees her in a café with that particular man weeks after, he understands.
His members never stop persuading him to meet someone new. She’s moved on, why haven’t you? is the question he loses count hearing. What they don’t understand is that although he thinks his feeling for her is just an affectionate feeling toward a little sister and a close friend, he just doesn’t know how to start anew with someone else. Should he repeat all the process or will it just come naturally from his inner self because when he was with her, they were too young and had zero experience on those things.
Tired of hearing the same question every day, he tries to meet someone new. He tries so many times but none of those girls end up being someone important to him. Something is always lacking. They don’t share the same music with him, they can’t get how he wants his weekend to be, and they don’t understand his obsession on ballad songs and sappy movies because they’re just not her.
He’s pathetic, Donghae knows. Yoona looks contented with someone that’s not him yet here he is, all alone and look more miserable by the day. He convinces himself that it’s okay not to move on, it’s okay not to look for someone who can replace her because no one can. Yoona is special, and there is always a place in the corner of his heart for her.
Just when he thinks no one can be more pathetic than he is, a particular night happens. He just finishes a recording session when he hears someone talks (or rather argues) on the phone. He doesn’t need to double check to know whose voice it belongs to. But what happens next startles him. She has her back leaning on the wall, both eyes closed and her hand holds the phone close to her chest. Feeling guilty for peeking at something he shouldn’t, he decides to leave. But one lone tear from her eye stops him on his track.
The always cheerful and bright Im Yoona stumbles down right in front of his eyes, looking broken more than ever. Donghae’s heart aches at the sight yet he can’t do anything to help her.  Will she push him away if he hugs her like he always did every time she cried? Is it okay to hold her and whisper that everything’s gonna be alright in her ears?
So he sits down beside her; their shoulders touching. She doesn’t even move an inch. And when his hand reaches for hers, she let him be.
“It’s just so tiring to be consumed with so much anger and dislike on a regular basis.”
By that, he knows who she was talking to on the phone a while ago. He intertwines their hands and she looks up with red and puffy eyes. “It wasn’t like this with you,” she continues quietly. Her voice trembles with raw honesty.
He squeezes her hands in silent understanding. He knows. He can feel it.
After all, they never really let go of each other.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Be Here for You



From the first time Yoona met Sehun, she had never seen him this lifeless. Not even when he had to stay for the night to retake his line of MAMA or when he had to double his dancing routine alone because he had missed a week of training due to his health.

Sehun, the ever chic and evil maknae of a top boy group EXO is now seated on his chair, with his face buried in both of his hands. He has been in that state since the news broke out, and no one dares to approach him. Everyone in SM Entertainment must be feeling the deep grief every member of EXO is feeling right now and decide to give them space.

Yoona's heart sinks as she takes a step closer to the very EXO's member. She feels the warmth in her eyes but she tries harder to keep her tears at bay. Sehun looks like someone just take away what's important to him and Yoona needs to be strong for him. She can't cry. Sehun needs her.

With light steps, Yoona brings herself closer to Sehun. She takes a seat next to him, holding back the urge to pull Sehun and let him cry in her embrace. Yoona doesn't say anything, and Sehun seems oblivious to her presence beside him. Or maybe he knows. He just doesn’t give a damn about anything else. 

A few silent tears later, Sehun finally lifts his head. He rests his back to the wall behind him, both eyes looking at nothing in particular. They're empty, just like his heart. 

Yoona raises her hand, giving a slight pat to Sehun's left shoulder. The 20 year old man moves a little, finally aware of her presence.

"Sehun-ah," Yoona holds back her tears. Even saying his name is too painful for her. 

Sehun doesn't share a glance to the beautiful lady beside him. "He left us, Yoona," is all he can mutter. 

Yoona runs her fingers through Sehun's hair, already sniffling. "He won't. He loves you all. He'll find a way to come back." Right now, Yoona isn't even sure who she's trying to soothe.

Right after she heard the news, Yoona rushed to SM building. The fatigue from the flight from Dubai suddenly disappeared and all Yoona could think about was how to get to SM building as soon as possible. She felt the knot within her when she saw Baekhyun had his head on Suho's shoulder while D.O and Tao held each other's hand not far away from them.

The building is now in chaos, inside and out. Fans are gathered outside the building, each holding different banners but they meant the same; they don't want Kris to leave. Inside, all SM artists has come to give support. Even BoA dropped everything she was doing to check on EXO members. It seems like everyone is on their side in this.

The last time Yoona felt this way was when Hankyung left Super Junior. She was (and still is) close to all Super Junior members so when they sat together in deep silence, Yoona joint the circle and silently cried with them. DBSK's break up was even worse but Yoona was so much stronger that time, enough to held Changmin in her arms and told him everything was gonna be alright without even dropping her tears. She never thought she would go through this again.

When Sehun starts crying, Yoona kneel down in front of him, touching his forehead with hers. She feels Sehun's tears flowing on her cheeks, mixing with her own.

"Things will never be the same." Yoona's heart clenched after hearing Sehun's voice. He's breaking down, and Yoona can't take it.

"Whatever happens, you still have me. I'll always be here for you and I believe you can get through this. All of you can get through this."

Sehun closes both of his eyes, feeling the warmth of Yoona's hands on his face. The words Yoona just said light a new hope in his heart that everything is gonna be okay. That he'll get through this. We will get through this. Kris will never leave. Sehun chanted in his heart.

"EXO! Practice room 2, now!" One of the staffs yells. Sehun takes a very deep breath, calming the storm he's feeling inside.

Yoona pulls away from their position, both hands still on each side of Sehun's face. The corner of her lip lifts a little. "Go. They need you."

The doe-eyed girl rises on her feet as she sees Sehun slowly walks to the mentioned room. She saw him reaching for Chanyeol's hand along the way. Yoona can't help sighing at the sight. They are too young to go through something like this.

"He'll be fine." She turned around to be face-to-face with Super Junior's Donghae.

Donghae gives her a reassuring smile. "They'll be fine." With that, Donghae opens both of his arms and Yoona gives in to the warmth of Lee Donghae’s. She wraps her hands around Donghae's waist and nuzzles her head into his chest. One of Donghae's hand rises to caress Yoona's dark locks down to her back. He tightens his hug when he feels Yoona's tears on his chest.

Donghae brings his face closer to Yoona's ear and whispers, "EXO will stay as 12. I believe in them."