Never Let Go

Donghae knows Yoona all too well. From what kind of food she likes to the scent of her perfume, he knows it all. It’s not that he’s known her since forever, but when you date someone for three years, you just know the inside and out.
So he is surprised when she’s linked to 2PM’s beast, Ok Taecyeon. As long as he knows, she is never into masculine and rough guys. She always prefers someone gentle and loving (like him, if he may add). But it’s not really his place to interfere anyway. After all, the broke up long ago and she’s free to date anyone she likes.
When he meets her for the first time in months, he greets her casually like he would do to a friend of his. She replies with a smile and both of them sit down for a light conversation. He asks her about the recent scandal and she doesn’t even deny it. She throws him a smile before excusing herself for a practice. For the first time in years of knowing Im Yoona, Donghae doesn’t know what that smile means. Is that a yes? Or is that a no? But when he sees her in a café with that particular man weeks after, he understands.
His members never stop persuading him to meet someone new. She’s moved on, why haven’t you? is the question he loses count hearing. What they don’t understand is that although he thinks his feeling for her is just an affectionate feeling toward a little sister and a close friend, he just doesn’t know how to start anew with someone else. Should he repeat all the process or will it just come naturally from his inner self because when he was with her, they were too young and had zero experience on those things.
Tired of hearing the same question every day, he tries to meet someone new. He tries so many times but none of those girls end up being someone important to him. Something is always lacking. They don’t share the same music with him, they can’t get how he wants his weekend to be, and they don’t understand his obsession on ballad songs and sappy movies because they’re just not her.
He’s pathetic, Donghae knows. Yoona looks contented with someone that’s not him yet here he is, all alone and look more miserable by the day. He convinces himself that it’s okay not to move on, it’s okay not to look for someone who can replace her because no one can. Yoona is special, and there is always a place in the corner of his heart for her.
Just when he thinks no one can be more pathetic than he is, a particular night happens. He just finishes a recording session when he hears someone talks (or rather argues) on the phone. He doesn’t need to double check to know whose voice it belongs to. But what happens next startles him. She has her back leaning on the wall, both eyes closed and her hand holds the phone close to her chest. Feeling guilty for peeking at something he shouldn’t, he decides to leave. But one lone tear from her eye stops him on his track.
The always cheerful and bright Im Yoona stumbles down right in front of his eyes, looking broken more than ever. Donghae’s heart aches at the sight yet he can’t do anything to help her.  Will she push him away if he hugs her like he always did every time she cried? Is it okay to hold her and whisper that everything’s gonna be alright in her ears?
So he sits down beside her; their shoulders touching. She doesn’t even move an inch. And when his hand reaches for hers, she let him be.
“It’s just so tiring to be consumed with so much anger and dislike on a regular basis.”
By that, he knows who she was talking to on the phone a while ago. He intertwines their hands and she looks up with red and puffy eyes. “It wasn’t like this with you,” she continues quietly. Her voice trembles with raw honesty.
He squeezes her hands in silent understanding. He knows. He can feel it.
After all, they never really let go of each other.